the lifesaver

I was not excited to be spending a Saturday at CPR class, but it was required by my job.  My attitude perked up a bit when I saw that our instructor was a very broad, burly, reasonably good-looking man probably in his early thirties.  I noticed him do a double-take when I walked through the door (probably because the next youngest woman there was middle-aged).

My amusement did not stop there.  Throughout the class he paid me special attention.  When I could not get my dummy’s chest to rise when practicing CPR, he teased me that I must not be a very good kisser and may have to stay after class for some remedial practice.  He also did not fail to inform us that he was a firefighter, EMT, and a public safety manager at the resort, in addition to teaching CPR classes.  (He said that he didn’t really get much sleep.) He also shared some enthralling stories of rescues he had done.  Did I mention that any man that saves lives wins automatic hotness points?

During a break, the other lady told us that she taught dancing classes at a local community center, and he mentioned that he like to dance (as did I).  She perked up and slyly suggested that we go together.  At the end of the class he asked for my number in case I’d like to go dancing sometime or get something to eat.  Smooth. 

He called shortly after, and we made plans to get dinner.  He asked if I had anything in mind, and I suggested pizza.  Beer and pizza is my ideal first date – delicious, fun, and no pressure.  He pulled up in an enormous truck with the biggest tires I have ever seen (which is the same I could say for his biceps).  He knocked on the door and handed me a bunch of yellow-pink roses.  I was rather taken aback.

Now, let me say that I do recognize that giving girls flowers on a first date is a sweet, traditional, romantic gesture that takes some guts.  I have often complained that men in our society are too casual and unwilling to fight for a girl.  That being said, giving flowers on a first date just isn’t my style.  As a beer-and-pizza-first-date-girl, I like things to start off relaxed and on a somewhat equal footing.  Sure, he can pay, but it won’t clean out his wallet.  That way both parties can leave without feeling pressure to make anything up to the other or hang out again, unless you want to.  Flowers on a second or third date, however, are an absolute YES.  But strangely, no one seems to give flowers after the first date (unless the situation has changed from “dating” into “relationship” gear).  Male readers, if you exist, please write this down.  Second and third dates are no time to get lazy.  That’s when you gotta step up the act.  But don’t overdo it on the first date.  Those should be as comfortable and easy as possible.  Just my opinion of course, and I’m sure there are many ladies that LOVE roses on a first date.

During pizza we kept the conversation up.  We must have seemed a bit awkward because a gay couple here on vacation from New York asked if we were on a first date and simpered over how cute we were.  (I was thinking the same about them.)  I don’t remember much about what we talked about, except for the general feeling like we didn’t have much in common, and the country western music playing in his truck.

Nonetheless, I may have given him a second chance were it not for his follow-up text:  “Wanna cuddle?”  Now, granted, he had mentioned during the date how he loved cuddling, and I don’t actually think he meant it to sound sexual.  However, as a follow-up to a FIRST date, it was just tacky because no girl over the age of 12 is really gonna believe that all he wants is some innocent cuddling.  The primary location of a second date should not be the guy’s couch, at least if he doesn’t want her to think that getting her clothes off is the plan.  When I didn’t respond, he texted, “I guess you didn’t think that was cute like I meant it to be.”  Nope.   I responded with something neutral, but he got the message.  I didn’t hear from again.  I will give him credit for teaching the most entertaining CPR class of my life.  As for him, maybe he learned a valuable lesson about not asking a girl to cuddle as a second date.  That way when he meets his big-truck-country-music-roses-on-a-first-date-large-biceps-loving perfect match, he’ll get it right.